The Drama triangle


In the previous post, I discussed about whiteboards at our workplace. The next thing I wrote in that was Drama triangle

Now it is very simple we all see daily drama in office and we think about different roles we are playing in that drama

Stephen Karpman came up with a drama triangle of human interactions, their roles and information transfer.

This theory says we all play 3 specific roles in our work life

  • Victim
  • Persecutor
  • Rescuer

triangle 

 

 

Victim is usually a poor helpless person .who is seeking for help.

Persecutor is a usual a person with power, authority; who pressurizes, sometimes accuses, can be a troublemaker also .In short he is a bad boy 😉

Rescuer: he is heroic. Always helping around, Handles tough situations, making things easier for victims.

 

He came up with this triangle. Now I came across different scenarios and thought how I can form this triangle.

A customer who is pressurized by his boss to generate a monthly report immediately. Then he is unable to do it, as there is a technical glitch. Now he goes to the analyst and seeks help. Analyst then resolves the technical issue and helps the customer to generate the report.

Here, Customer is Victim. Hi Boss is a persecutor and analyst become a rescuer.

Situation 2:

Customer reports an issue constantly abuses analyst for not solving the issue quickly. Then a Technical Lead helps analyst in resolving the problem.

Here Customer becomes a persecutor, Analyst a victim and His Manager a rescuer.

Drama_Triangle-448x360

This applies to personal life situation also. Let us see how:

Let’s say there is a man who constantly dominate over his wife to do household chores and bashes her if everything is not complete on time and then Son/daughter intervenes and says to his mother “ Mother, Let me talk to dad and make him understand your situation . Let me help you in you work also. “And finally helps in resolving things.

So now I leave you with this thought.

Who are playing what role in above situation and keep thinking about different roles you have played in different situation at your workplace.

Have you been only victimized or been a rescuer too?

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Energy Sucking succubus around us


We come across so many Energy Vampires. Often People around us who drain our energy. Whose presence makes us feel sudden adrenaline rush in the head. unpleasant feeling surrounds your mind . I have experienced plenty of people who have been an energy vampires in my life. Eventually I have started moving away from such people. old memories spent with them do haunt us occasionally but gradually I’m trying shift my focus towards better paradigm shift . I don’t say run away from Problem . but being around them too much might inject negativity in your mind.

Somebody said “surround Yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher “So true.

there were times when I had people around me who with reckless , ruthless. they used toxic language, they complained.

but still had to interact with them for few obvious reasons. but then I realized it wasn’t really necessary to talk to them either for they only bring your morale down , and nothing really positive happens in your life except Every thought leaves you with a frowny face .

I just stumbled upon this nice quotes by Robin Sharma -> “if you’re  not lifting other’s up, don’t bring people down”.

Life has so beautiful things to offer. so good memories to remember , plenty of finest opportunities to take you to pinnacle. but then if we keep roaming with these vampires would we be able to enjoy these wonderful things? think about it

 

 

Apology


My Apology to a good friend. just wanna say i’m sorry your anger is justified.

m just here to say .

i ain’t letting you down
amidst the motha fuckin haters ,
you ain’t walk this road alone .
there’s isn’t a way
that could stop you being sad, mad on me
i dint even realise so much you counted on me
i’m sorry i hurt you, but be brave
i’m back again ‘ima stand by yo way
take a moment to Listen
they gonna diss you and make yo pain amplified
sit back kick back know their intention
or go be their friend again
i aint gonna talk to to them again.

we’ve seen the worse,everyday they curse,

Nobody ever cared , spared

you held the pillow ,but never cried

you’re unstoppable , believe me ,you’re incredible

no,i’m not insane .i’m better this way
you were my friend and will remain the same

Never wanna Lose


Sometimes in life there are phases when we  may loose something precious . or may be someone precious.. we may or may not realize.. but when we look back, the beautiful memories starts to haunt and tears roll the cheek unexpectedly..

we crave for that lost care , wish that precious thing was with us now . yeah now for that very moment .. wish we would hold tight and never let go away from us..but then, even before we open our eyes only to find we have lost the precious thing ..

I was remembering some of the finest moments of my life and shuffling my playlist .. I heard this beautiful song by “Passenger” called “let her Go”

lyrics goes like this

“Well you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go”

I know how this feeling of emptiness is.. emotionally you feel numb and paralyzed, the lost smile on the face says it all.

My confession: Life goes on..but somewhere in the corner of your heart the pain resides.so on my knees, I say.. “I’m sorry to hurt someone , if I did unknowingly”.life is too short to loose something precious.

Love and cheers

Supreet

Left me on the cold ground


Its true that now our love stood on the tip toe

and i know u love me no more

there were days when you could only think of me

and none could take you away from me

My love for you could reach the limits of eternity

and could only see your inner beauty

the warmth in your touch and tenderness in your smile

now i could feel it only for a while

now when you laid me down

in this cold ground, how i felt

you would never understand

you remain neither my love nor my friend

as i look into your eyes

it was the way i used to feel inside

i’m still the same who trusted your eyes

Now you’re blind enough to see my heart cries

 
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GR8 Source of Happiness


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There are few things i believe would definitely make ur day memorable.
meeting a good old friend.. or exploring 1000 things in life with a very nice friend after a long time is one of them.
we talk, we share ,we laugh,we care and remember all those moment spent together and it gives lots of happiness and relief.
we have few people around us with whom we may be emotionally attached , seek guidance , and we hope not to loose them forever..
Probably due to uncertainties of life we may get a little drifted away from our very good friends but then, when they reappear just when u were thinking “wish he/she was here” with you and all u want to do is hold them and share your heart out, it will definitely be a cherish-able moment and inexpressible moment.
but then don’t forget to show gratitude and appreciation for all the good things they did for u
be kind enough to them , understand them and i’m sure you will feel connected and make u feel more blissful.

 

 

Stronger Connections


I often come hear people saying “my relationship status is COMPLICATED”. I DO Interact with them and try to know when relationship can sometimes be extremely complicated and often I realized that to build and maintain Quality relationship requires few things which we often fail to follow.

How often do we understand that it’s important we have to build trust, remain consistent and become a person who is reliable in every situation?

Mutual respect is a thing we never bother about. I often hear people come to me saying “it was alright in the beginning. We respected each other’s view and differences also. But its 2-3 month and its not the same…”
Well I say its just2-3 months and if people are finding hard to respect the uniqueness of an individual which would make them feel very valuable and important then how about being with them for a lifetime.??

Recently I read an article which says people DO NOT communicate about important issues in their relationships and let the problem stack up.
Also we fail to listen attentively, calmly, quietly when the other person is sharing the emotions.
But when you do listen, it sends them a signal that u respect the other person’s emotions and deepen the level of trust. That’s what I feel

Recently I heard from my a good friend of mine who shares that he lacks care from his partner.
But that’s the greatest gift u can give to ur partner-THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE.

I know we have also always accustomed to criticizing comparing and complaining. But if we can be people builder rather than people-basher life would much more wonderful.

I have read somewhere and I follow the principle which says “catch them doing right” (them may refer to your teammate, your partner, your friend, child)

Finally I would say be helpful. Your willingness to step in and do little things to decrease the burden felt by ur family is always appreciated and respected. Share , contribute and help each other.
People can share their views on they have built successful human relationship