This is why we aren’t open to all ?


Akhila wrote a thought provoking post asking “why are we not open to all

im just making an attempt to present my thoughts on it

we all keep observing people’s behavior and we are many a time aware of people’s acceptance level with whom we keep interacting with

now when we find the acceptance level of other’s is low, may be we hold back from sharing it with them . this has happened with me too .

now we also assume things like what would the opposite person reaction may be .

if we feel the reaction may not be in our favor , again we hold back

it might also depend on our acceptance level, when the opposite person’s views are not inline with ours we may not like it sometimes, we may fall into heated up arguments and thus to avoid that we do not open up ourselves with certain people

we may many a times feel, what if my ideas are not convincing enough for others to consider it as a game changing idea  

thus we choose a few people where we open up more and share our thoughts.

 

 

Knowledge Vs Character.


i had been to nearby shop to  purchase some cloths and i observed argument happening between customer and shopkeeper .what saddened me was the lady was crying and went back asking for apology . i rarely see customers apologizing a shopkeeper. while i asked the shop owner what had just happened , he told me something that really was hurting . how ill-informed and insensitive people can be ? i thought.

he said the lady who just left crying had come to purchase something and while transferring the bill amount via debit card the transaction had failed . amount had debited from her account but hadn’t reached the shop owner’s account .

her husband started abusing her over the phone for selecting such a shop to transact.

the shopkeeper tried his best by convincing that it would take 24 hrs to refund by the bank and he would assure that . if at all the refund has not been made by the bank he would personally go to bank and verify it . he even extracted transaction history to assure the customer but customer’s husband did not accept this and started scolding and abusing her wife.

what hurt me was lady said that her husband would beat her up for this and in the worst case wouldn’t let her in home if she failed to get it refunded immediately.

finally shopkeeper payed her via PAYTM and said forget about the money, money can be gained again. be safe with your husband(bill amount was 1000 INR) .

such terrible people like her husband do exit.

he neither had knowledge about internet banking ,nor had any patience to listen or wait for 24 hrs .

he dint even have humanity to treat his wife like that . if people  dont respect their own family members especially ladies , who are they going to respect.

 

 

 

 

Daily Prompt: Vigor


via Daily Prompt: Vigor

Many a time people talk a lot about physical strength but its the mental strength that can be a reason to finish an extremely tough , critical , Himalayan task . don’t you agree?

See Nick Vujicic. learn from his life . he is a man with no limbs no arms . yet so powerful and has been a wonderful motivational speaker now.

he was an easy target for bullies . now he believed in his own vigor . he says never let bullies define who you are as a person . that’s your weakness. you should define yourself and no bully would get the power to weaken you. 

he even goes on to say that he even had made suicidal attempts , but it was his mental strength he chose to live the life with vigor and now he is happy to make that decision for he is able to get enormous love from his wife n kid which otherwise wouldn’t have been possible .

Believe you are here to do something tremendous , spectacular . believe you got most amazing thing in life . a beautiful body and beautiful heart .

isn’t it enough to live a extraordinary life .

to complete the task you were assigned for by the nature with vigor .

I felt inspired while reading this book called “Stand Strong”

nick

 

Take control


from last couple of months, I feel I have been downed in the valley of flaws.

Lots of negativity surrounds me.

I was so contaminated by the sick thoughts of few people around me

But then I felt … when life is all about DIY (Do It yourself) strategies

Why give someone else power to choose the way I be happy?

Why blame someone and become weaker.

Yes, I understand some people do not understand the language of politeness

But why react in an aggressive manner and shoot up my blood pressure and give them a reason to ridicule me

Let me take control of my emotions, my life and be powerful.

Acceptance


Time and again it has happened that we start expecting much when we fall in a relationship

Now here is a things which I observed which can lead to a hole in the ship of relationship

People want their partners to change, she expects him to think like she do and he expect her to feel and behave in a way he like her to. I’m sorry guys this doesn’t work like this. May be they need a large amount of acceptance over here.

Sometimes an ugly feeling may creep in Ur mind that if she/he doesn’t like the way I am then why did he/she accept me initially. what I say is do not enforce a change in a behavior or a thought process of your partner until it is for betterment and your partner understand it and agrees to it .

Both have their own principles in life they follow they believe in different thought process.

But in marriages and relationships, these are to be share with each other. See if these can work in situation where you both need to make strong decisions.

Ok I leave you with this thought for today

“Stop blaming others. Change is a part of life and let it start with you”D

I’m Happy to stay connected here


Is it not amazing that we get connected in someway or the other here in WP.

Best thing about WordPress is its always a healthy communication that takes place when you share your thoughts here .

i have hardly seen anyone having cold war of words here .

i like it when people support or motivate each other to make use of ones potential to max.

if this continues i’m sure world would be more beautiful ..

i have made few connections here.. and each one is spectacularly talented enough. few have moved my soul, few have inspired me , few have given great information about various things and few have taught me life lessons ..

i wanted to take this opportunity to thank them all and i wish we stay connected..forever

it would be unfair if i take few names and leave few.. but the respect and love i have for them deep in my heart is enormous and eternal..

i’m more than happy today. Hope you also have made connections which makes you feel life is worthwhile. if you have so, Please share .

I  love them and i got much love, i earned respect  ; i endure the betrayal of false friends AND MADE some REAL FRIEND HERE ; i received much appreciation ,guidance and blessings,  i got to know one’s life’s insights and we mutually showed empathy, we promised to walk together in the journey —is this not called a step closer to  success.

PS: I know this isn’t my style to express the gratitude.. but give me sometime.. i will come back with a much better way..

 

The Drama triangle


In the previous post, I discussed about whiteboards at our workplace. The next thing I wrote in that was Drama triangle

Now it is very simple we all see daily drama in office and we think about different roles we are playing in that drama

Stephen Karpman came up with a drama triangle of human interactions, their roles and information transfer.

This theory says we all play 3 specific roles in our work life

  • Victim
  • Persecutor
  • Rescuer

triangle 

 

 

Victim is usually a poor helpless person .who is seeking for help.

Persecutor is a usual a person with power, authority; who pressurizes, sometimes accuses, can be a troublemaker also .In short he is a bad boy 😉

Rescuer: he is heroic. Always helping around, Handles tough situations, making things easier for victims.

 

He came up with this triangle. Now I came across different scenarios and thought how I can form this triangle.

A customer who is pressurized by his boss to generate a monthly report immediately. Then he is unable to do it, as there is a technical glitch. Now he goes to the analyst and seeks help. Analyst then resolves the technical issue and helps the customer to generate the report.

Here, Customer is Victim. Hi Boss is a persecutor and analyst become a rescuer.

Situation 2:

Customer reports an issue constantly abuses analyst for not solving the issue quickly. Then a Technical Lead helps analyst in resolving the problem.

Here Customer becomes a persecutor, Analyst a victim and His Manager a rescuer.

Drama_Triangle-448x360

This applies to personal life situation also. Let us see how:

Let’s say there is a man who constantly dominate over his wife to do household chores and bashes her if everything is not complete on time and then Son/daughter intervenes and says to his mother “ Mother, Let me talk to dad and make him understand your situation . Let me help you in you work also. “And finally helps in resolving things.

So now I leave you with this thought.

Who are playing what role in above situation and keep thinking about different roles you have played in different situation at your workplace.

Have you been only victimized or been a rescuer too?

Energy Sucking succubus around us


We come across so many Energy Vampires. Often People around us who drain our energy. Whose presence makes us feel sudden adrenaline rush in the head. unpleasant feeling surrounds your mind . I have experienced plenty of people who have been an energy vampires in my life. Eventually I have started moving away from such people. old memories spent with them do haunt us occasionally but gradually I’m trying shift my focus towards better paradigm shift . I don’t say run away from Problem . but being around them too much might inject negativity in your mind.

Somebody said “surround Yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher “So true.

there were times when I had people around me who with reckless , ruthless. they used toxic language, they complained.

but still had to interact with them for few obvious reasons. but then I realized it wasn’t really necessary to talk to them either for they only bring your morale down , and nothing really positive happens in your life except Every thought leaves you with a frowny face .

I just stumbled upon this nice quotes by Robin Sharma -> “if you’re  not lifting other’s up, don’t bring people down”.

Life has so beautiful things to offer. so good memories to remember , plenty of finest opportunities to take you to pinnacle. but then if we keep roaming with these vampires would we be able to enjoy these wonderful things? think about it

 

 

Apology


My Apology to a good friend. just wanna say i’m sorry your anger is justified.

m just here to say .

i ain’t letting you down
amidst the motha fuckin haters ,
you ain’t walk this road alone .
there’s isn’t a way
that could stop you being sad, mad on me
i dint even realise so much you counted on me
i’m sorry i hurt you, but be brave
i’m back again ‘ima stand by yo way
take a moment to Listen
they gonna diss you and make yo pain amplified
sit back kick back know their intention
or go be their friend again
i aint gonna talk to to them again.

we’ve seen the worse,everyday they curse,

Nobody ever cared , spared

you held the pillow ,but never cried

you’re unstoppable , believe me ,you’re incredible

no,i’m not insane .i’m better this way
you were my friend and will remain the same