This is why we aren’t open to all ?


Akhila wrote a thought provoking post asking “why are we not open to all

im just making an attempt to present my thoughts on it

we all keep observing people’s behavior and we are many a time aware of people’s acceptance level with whom we keep interacting with

now when we find the acceptance level of other’s is low, may be we hold back from sharing it with them . this has happened with me too .

now we also assume things like what would the opposite person reaction may be .

if we feel the reaction may not be in our favor , again we hold back

it might also depend on our acceptance level, when the opposite person’s views are not inline with ours we may not like it sometimes, we may fall into heated up arguments and thus to avoid that we do not open up ourselves with certain people

we may many a times feel, what if my ideas are not convincing enough for others to consider it as a game changing idea Β 

thus we choose a few people where we open up more and share our thoughts.

 

 

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Author: theonlysup

Self Motivated. Optimistic , Resilient . Sometimes emotional, most of the Time Happy :)

72 thoughts on “This is why we aren’t open to all ?”

  1. A lot of it is also about effort required – we have that “chod! jaane de” attitude. Are we becoming apathetic? In fact, now we move to shush the one person who dares to open up? After we surpass our doubts, this is the next mountain to be climbed.

    1. very true .yes we also have seen many time where people are scared to present their views in certain sensitive matters fearing the reaction they would get . but then we should always encourage others to interact and share more. but 90% of the time it is we who hold back ..

  2. Thanks Sup for linking my post. I really appreciate your thoughts.
    But I dont think that mindblock arises from our inner fear. Maybe it’s true in some cases…

      1. Ya…i am thinking about the other reasons..could be like, why should we force someone to engage with us..if they comes in naturally, let it be.

  3. I remember I had a talk with you over this ‘acceptance level’ thing long time back. I agree where you said that we hold back things when we feel that our views won’t match. I do that lots of times. And yes, also to avoid arguments. Nice post. πŸ™‚

  4. So many times, people invite suggestions and comments, but when you do make one and gauge the cold response you receive you curse yourself! I often wonder if people are so closed to suggestion, why do they put up a show?

      1. Probably people just want to confirm that what they are doing is right. So they are expecting to hear what they want to…
        πŸ™‚

  5. A concept of illusion of transparency in psychology… true words here. I have learned to accept that we cannot force people to understand what we are trying to say. Thats the beauty of human diversity… right? 😊😊😊

  6. True. But we are just suppose to focus on our role in life…though it is difficult.
    The things you hve mentioned happens a lot of time …and that is why people become double standards….
    Every soul needs appreciation…if we don’t get it from someone…we avoid them.

    1. Yes. I don’t feel the urge to share with everyone..that Question was asked by a coblogger and it was my answer to it. U r so right that we should be focusing on our role . yes lack of appreciation could also be a reason why we do not interact much with certain people. This was a good input nidhee. Thank you.

  7. Or perhaps the other person doesn’t care and it’d be far better to just talk to a wall instead! (Sorry that was childish but true!)
    For introverts and many people too I guess, the problem is what you very rightly mentioned in your post along with the fear of appearing vulnerable or letting on a weakness or experiences from real life where people have disappointed them by being a bad listener because introverts are great at that and secret keeping too, so they sort of expect the same from their listener.

  8. Actually I think there can be so many angles to this.Some people hesitate to mingle bcz it’s not in their nature(i.e.,introverts) But then there are people who can be comfortable with everyone but sidetrack someone just Bcz of prejudices. The same thing happens in our society Bcz of the caste system. Stereotypes bounds us from being open to all.

  9. I guess, the reason can be we fear any stranger or say even our closed ones sometimes because of our past experiences, we feel it’s better to open up to someone who has been with us in our ‘thick and thin’, which restricts our group. this all was put i our systems while we were young, ‘beta kisi stranger se baat mat karna’, which eventually lowers our closed ones and in our entire lifetime, we have only one or at max three persons who are real close to us πŸ™‚
    Isn’t it?

  10. I love this notion of examining our own openness, even in the face of another’s closed off demeanor. I find I am always mostly at peace when I am giving, as opposed to receiving. But then, I’ve just made your argument, then, didn’t I? Being closed off from receiving…that can create a problem, too, in a way. :o)

    Balance….and the rule of three comes to mind when I read this. ❀︎

    1. Ah no. Just multitasking. So /rule of 3 for me is think of 3 things which u haven’t done earlier and u do it now to see what difference does it make .. It might be interaction too.

  11. I feel exactly the same everytime! I don’t open up to anyone. You know, am like a closed book with thousands of thoughts and secrets in it and i only talk to those whom i want to talk to. I don’t know why but i just don’t like to open up in front of people, i don’t share my problems or feelings with anyone coz i know they too have their own problems and i don’t want to bother them with mine. I know that i have my secret side and there’re few people who knows the real me and they care for me. I’m just happy to have them in my life πŸ™‚ You know what, i believe in spreading love, so i just try to do that always. But what to do, i’m just like that i can’t share my thoughts, problems or feelings with everyone!

      1. Baat trust ki nahin hoti, bas apni problems se kisi dusre ko pareshan karne ka man nahin hota! πŸ™‚ Yahi shayad zindagi hain, is dunia mein akele aaye hain, akela jeeyenge aur akele hi chale jayenge πŸ˜‰ Phir apni baaton se kisi ko pareshan kyun karna? πŸ™‚

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